What I am writing about this week and what I planned to write about this week are two completely different things. When I initially had the idea for this blog, I made a list of topics I wanted to write about, and continued to add to it over time. I kept going back to the list as I asked myself should I write a blog? Why or why not? Can I make this work? Should I put myself out there? Am I ready? So, for this week I took a look back at the list and picked a good one. A really good one. I was so excited about this idea. I started writing, revising, deleting, writing again, revising again, deleting again. I tried my hardest to make Blog Post 3 into something amazing. Thus the reason this is Blog Post 3, Take 2. It was terrible. My writing was completely forced, predictable, and not authentic at all. 

Can you guess what happened after that?  Do I have any over achievers out there? Anyone who holds themselves to standards you would never set for anyone else? If you are saying yes, then you know exactly what I’m talking about. I listened to that little voice in my head that said maybe I’m not a good writer after all. I must have gotten lucky with those first two posts, and my luck has run out. I don’t have any good ideas, and even if I had a good idea, I can’t make it into a good enough blog post. I mean, am I even reading my own blog?? 

My intention all along with writing this blog and publishing it was to just casually put it out there and hope it would resonate with friends, family, and a few new people who found the blog by accident. But the second I put the pressure on, things changed. There was stress, worry, and anxiety- all things I don’t want or need in my life right now. That’s why Blog Post 3 wasn’t working. Do we have the courage to examine our own lives and admit to ourselves what isn’t working? It would have been a lot easier for me to simply publish my initial idea than to write about how I completely failed at my first attempt. I could have fooled myself into thinking that it was an acceptable post and that someone would like it. But in my heart I knew that wasn’t the right thing to do. I want you to know the real Jane, and the real Jane is trying to figure it out just like you. Be honest with yourself this week; leave something behind that’s been weighing you down. I’m officially deleting Blog Post 3 and moving on to a new idea for next week. Maybe it will work, maybe not. But today I’m a little less scared to fail and I hope you are too.