I love watching American Idol. I love getting to know the contestants and hearing their stories. And of course I love the singing. I would give anything to be able to sing; it’s definitely not in the cards for me, but maybe in another life. This season on Idol there was one particular contestant who made an impression on me. Not just because of her voice, but because of something she said during her audition. The judges wanted to know what she was doing besides singing, and she said, as proud as can be, “I’m a drop out!” She recently dropped out of college to pursue singing full time. Her willingness to put herself out there was extremely refreshing. With that one sentence, I became a fan. I was impressed that at twenty years old she figured out something that took me many years to learn….  just be yourself.

Moving from city to city was challenging for me. As soon as I would get comfortable with a circle of friends, we would move again. I would have to get to know a whole new group of people, and also let them get to know me. This was very unsettling. I put up walls and kept my innermost thoughts and feelings hidden away. I wouldn’t let myself relax and be real- I was always guarded. This isn’t a good way to make friends. Up until a few years ago, I could probably count on one hand the people in this world who really knew me. Things started to change when I realized we wouldn’t have to move again. Lynchburg was home, and the friends I had here needed to know the real me; the good and the bad. Hopefully more of the former than the latter. 

Letting people in and breaking down those walls not only allowed my friends to get to know me, it allowed me to get to know them. The more I’m willing to share, the more they share. And so the friendship builds, gets stronger, and more meaningful. We all want to be seen, to be heard, and to be understood. And we can’t possibly have that if we hide behind the barriers we construct for ourselves. 

And when you make that phone call or send a text to a friend because in that moment you totally need them or you’re going to have a major freak out (speaking from first hand experience here) they know you so well, that they say the right thing, react a certain way or plan the perfect distraction to set you back on track.