I Don’t Want Any Trouble

Do you have a mantra? Something you say to yourself that makes you feel unstoppable? 

A few common examples might be :

I’ve Got This

I Can and I Will

I Am Worth It

Mine is “I don’t want any trouble.” I’ll explain.

When my husband and I got married and had our first child, we were relatively young. And we looked young, which sounds great, but it wasn’t. Especially on our first trip to the pediatrician, post delivery. At that first visit, you meet the doctor, and he or she makes sure that mom and baby are doing well. When we walked into the exam room, the doctor took one look at us and instantly had her mind made up. We were a couple of young, stupid kids, and knew nothing about raising a baby. To make things worse, I apparently had brushed the baby carrier against the bushes walking into the office, and a teeny tiny bug decided to hitch a ride on our daughter’s blanket. So now in addition to being young and stupid, we must also have a bug infested home. The pediatrician flipped out. She started shaking the blanket furiously, and it went downhill from there. My husband and I walked out of there thinking “What just happened?” She made us feel terrible about ourselves, and worse than that, made us question our ability to care for this sweet precious baby we had just welcomed into the world. 

Luckily on the way home my husband assured me that we would find another doctor, a better fit for us, and we did. However, I needed to get my daughter’s file with all her records from the other office. I was already upset because of the way we were treated, and as a new mom the last thing you need is anything else to rattle you. When I called the receptionist and told her I needed the records, she hemmed and hawed and acted like she couldn’t hand them over directly to me. Well, something came over me and I told her “Look, I’m coming down there for my daughter’s file, and I don’t want any trouble.” I think I might have hung up on her. I’m not sure what I was going to do if there was any trouble, but she took me seriously and I got the records. We laugh hysterically about this now; I am not a scary or mean spirited person but something came over me that day, and I wasn’t going to let anyone else make me feel small, insignificant or incompetent. 

Whenever I need a boost of confidence or want to channel my inner strength, I think of that day. It always makes me smile; and it reminds me that no one else can write the story of who I am, no matter what.