I’m Not One to Borrow Trouble

I heard this expression on a podcast I was listening to this year and I immediately fell in love with it. It was on an episode of the Family Secrets podcast I wrote about in August. This particular episode was about a woman who knew that her baby had been switched at birth (this was in the 1950s) and didn’t speak up and try to make the switch back. Her reason… I’m not one to borrow trouble. It’s a riveting story and one I enjoyed and while I’m not entirely sure I agree with her decision, this expression has stayed with me all year.

What does it mean to borrow trouble? It may be different for you, but for me it boils down to taking on the stress of others. If you have a kid who has gone to college, you can definitely relate to this. How many times have you gotten a frantic text from your college student, and preceded to worry about it for the rest of the day. When you finally talk to them, surprise! They’re fine, and they have been for several hours. No major crisis exists, except in your head. All last year I worried about my seventeen year old, and if he was going to be ok academically and socially because of the effects of enduring high school during Covid. I was also overly concerned with my middle child, who took a year off from college. Would he be able to figure it all out? And don’t even get me started about all the worrying that comes along with having a daughter of any age!

One thing I learned this year is that they will be ok and they will figure it all out, whether I worry or not. And what is all this worrying and borrowing trouble doing for me? It’s probably giving me wrinkles, and taking years off of my life. As I gradually approach 50, this is not what I need and January is the perfect time to make some much needed changes.

I don’t know how you feel about resolutions, but since the new year is coming up, I have a new approach to them. This week I’m going to do inventory of everything that happened to me and my family this past year. I’ll go month by month and review, remember and reminisce. Then I’m going to write a letter to myself about my thoughts on last year and what I hope for the new year. Instead of a list of resolutions, it will be a letter of intention. This letter will be my post for next week. I hope you’ll write one too and if you feel like sharing it, I’d love to read it. Have a great week and happy writing!