Recently our family has been using the phrase “take a step back.” We are using it so much, it has almost become a joke. Some things on our plate causing us to take a step back include: managing aging/sick parents, waiting on college acceptances (still), changing jobs, moving to a new city, buying and selling a home, and a general uncertainty about the future. Each one of us has a lot going on, and it’s starting to get to us. Our family likes things wrapped up in nice, neat little packages. But these days we feel like our lives are like your living room on Christmas morning: boxes, paper, and ribbons everywhere. We aren’t managing things well, and that’s why we need to take a step back. 

What does it mean to take a step back? For me personally, it means gaining perspective. It means sorting through all the cloudiness in your mind so you can see clearly. But how do you do that when you are who you are, and you can’t get out of the habit of looking at things your way? Are you even able to gain a different perspective? The answer is yes. Here are a few ways that I have learned to help me see things in a different light.

One obvious way for me is by writing things down. Our family has made the decision to leave Lynchburg and move to Charlotte, NC. I know what you’re thinking. Wait, what? You’re moving again? I know. Believe me, it was a hard decision. However, the way we were able to make that decision was by making a list of pros and cons. By making that list, we were better able to visualize the positives and negatives. It would have been a lot harder to think with all of those thoughts just swirling around in our heads. It’s amazing how the very act of writing something down can be so therapeutic. Many times when I sit down to write each week, the end result is not what I had planned. That’s the beauty of writing; sometimes it takes on a life of its own and leads you to the answers you’ve been looking for.

Another way to gain perspective is by doing research and talking to others. By talking to a trusted friend or family member, reading articles online, or even listening to a podcast, you have the opportunity to think about things differently. Also, the simple act of voicing your concerns allows you to hear your thoughts out loud. Often times when you do that, you have an epiphany. You may realize how completely outrageous you sound, or you may convince yourself that you’re on the right track, and you just need to trust yourself and keep moving forward.

Sometimes taking a step back means doing something that takes your mind off of whatever is weighing you down. When I’m cooking, I am able to focus solely on that task, and forget everything else. Because I’ve been so busy, I got out of the habit of cooking every night. It totally threw me off kilter. So last week I made a meal plan and got back in the kitchen. There’s something about cooking a delicious meal for my family that is so comforting to me. It makes me feel confident. Like if everything around me is crumbling, at least we won’t be hungry. Good way to look at it, right? 

If you’re feeling like you need to take a step back, slow down and give yourself the opportunity to do so. Maybe one of these ideas will work for you, and you’ll gain the perspective you need to manage a situation, make a decision or move forward. If nothing else, it’s another set of tools in your arsenal to use when the time comes.