Who Are You?
Who are you? This seems like a simple question until you try to answer it. I’ve had a couple of conversations over the past month where this was the topic. How we define ourselves is ever changing and extremely important as move from adolescence into adulthood and try to present ourselves to the world; and then once we think we know who we are, we add new relationships, careers and maybe children to the mix and our identity shifts. And then we get older and enter a new phase of life where our previous identity no longer fits, and we have to redefine who we are. How do we put into words who we are, especially if we feel like the world has already put on a label on us?
Young people have had it rough over the past few years. There is no denying that our society has seen dramatic changes that can be troubling to a person trying to figure it all out. And how do you figure it out with opinions and judgements coming at you from all angles? The pressure from parents, teachers, friends, and social media all weigh heavy on the mind of a young person who is unsure of themselves, to say the least. Even the most self assured person has insecurities that they are hiding deep down. So when you ask a young person who they are, it’s not easy for them to come up with an answer. They may be afraid to answer truthfully out of fear of what people will think. A high schooler may be longing to go to college so they can feel free to become someone new. A recent college graduate may be looking to shed their college persona and become a more mature young adult. A young professional may not want to define themselves by their career, but by who they are as a person… but who is that?
I guess having time on my side is a good thing regarding this topic because I can look back and see my life in stages, which directly relates to my identity. Although sometimes when I look back, I see myself as a 1950s housewife and mother… cooking, cleaning, and taking care of everything while the man of the house goes to work. I was totally fine with that, and certainly my husband encouraged me to do what I wanted to do. But since I thrive off of things being neat and tidy (we’ve talked about this) staying home and keeping everyone on task was a good fit for me. And because I’ve added writer and blogger to my list of accomplishments, I feel better about who I am. And now my goal is to add more accomplishments to that list, even if I am unsure about what they are. I also don’t want my identity to be tied to what I do, but who I am at my core. I am kind, funny, and helpful. I like to have a good time but I also like to be in control. I am really good at giving pep talks (especially to my family) and I am proud to say that. Maybe a career as a counselor is in my future- who knows?
Let’s talk about shedding those labels we put on ourselves or that society has put upon us. Just because you were someone, does not mean going forward you still have to be that person. Life is about growth, change, and about learning who we are and who we want to be. I firmly believe that each year we have the opportunity to develop into a version of ourselves that we like and with which we are comfortable. Right now if you take a look at yourself, there are so many amazing things about you! And there are things you need to work on too. Celebrate who you are, but also try to make small changes towards the person you want to be. And the next time someone asks you who you are, don’t be afraid to answer with confidence. You’re a unique and impressive work in progress, just like the rest of us.
