Friend to the End
Do you remember in elementary school when your teacher helped you remember how to spell friend by saying, “friend to the end?” I do, and I haven’t forgotten it to this day. But if you think about it, do all of our friends stay until the end? Unfortunately not. We have old friends and new friends, work friends and acquaintances, people who we want to be our friends, and maybe some we would like to leave behind. Friendships ebb and flow, and if we understand the different stages of a friendship, it may give us clarity on relationships as a whole, and teach us how to cherish some of the most important people in our lives… our friends.
Who is your best friend? The person you can count on the most in your life? Some of you may say your spouse, a childhood friend, or someone you just met and with whom you have an instant connection. There’s no denying that we all have that one person in our lives who knows us the best, who we can call for anything at all, and who we can be separated from for months on end, and pick up exactly where we left off. There is such comfort in knowing we can turn to this person anytime or anywhere, and will always get the same thing- acceptance. Our lives may take different paths for a while, but the friendship is easy and deep down you know that you will always be friends.
We can’t say this about all of our friends. Some friendships are hard work. Let me ask you something though- aren’t all relationships work? If our marriage or long term relationship enters a rough patch, don’t we say we are working on it? We need to think about our friendships in the same way. I always tell my kids, “you have to take the good with the bad.” And then I remind them that they aren’t perfect, and they shouldn’t expect their friends to be perfect either. Thank god I have kids because it allows me to take my own advice and examine my own relationships. If I have a disagreement with a friend or they disappoint me in some way, I try to take a step back and realize that I have probably done something similar and was quietly forgiven for the misstep. I think that’s such a classy move from a friend- forgiveness without incident.
But if the friendship becomes so difficult that it takes a toll on your emotional well being, or they aren’t supportive, or you have simply grown apart, I think it’s perfectly acceptable to walk away for a bit. You may come back to each other or you may both move on. I truly believe in your heart, you’ll know the right thing to do.
Speaking of hearts, Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. Over the past few years, women have been celebrating Galentine’s Day. What is that, you may ask? Galentine’s Day is observed on February 13th, and it’s a day for women to get together and celebrate their friendships. I love this idea. I have to admit, I thought it was celebrated on Valentine’s Day, and created to avoid being alone on one of the most (supposedly) romantic days of the year. I’m so glad I was wrong! The thought of women coming together to express their love and appreciation for each other makes me so happy. It’s a little late for me to plan a Galentine’s get together this year, so instead I’m going to reach out to a couple of friends and let them know how much they mean to me. And maybe I’ll reach out to a couple of friends who deserve an apology. The one thing researchers say will help you live longer: strong, healthy relationships. Let’s all strengthen the bonds of our friendships this week, ones from the past and ones in the present, which will most certainly make for a better future.
