Time to Unpack
Last spring I wrote about rebirth and setting intentions. The photo for that post featured tulips. I’ve surrounded myself with tulips lately not only because they are beautiful, but because they were my mom’s favorite flower. It’s a constant reminder of her; not like I need one though, because some days she’s all I can think about. It got me wondering about the things that have taken up residence in our minds. What is stuck there that we cannot stop contemplating, ruminating about and obsessing over? What do we need to unpack?
Think about when you unpack your suitcase from a trip. You’ve got laundry of course, outfits that you never wore (but brought just in case) and all the items you need for the flight or a road trip such as headphones, books, magazines and snacks. Perhaps you have reminders of the trip: guidebooks, ticket stubs, or a travel journal. I love when I come home from the beach and there is sand in my suitcase- a welcome memento from my favorite place on Earth. You put all of that away and store the suitcase for another trip. For the first few days and weeks after the trip, you may think about it. You might share photos with a friend at lunch or call your mom and talk to her about the highlights. But then time goes on, memories fade, and things go back to normal. Why can’t we do that with the thoughts running through our minds? How can we unpack them and put them away?
Perhaps those thoughts stay in our minds because we can’t deal with them. We can’t think about them, and we certainly can’t face them head on. It’s too tough and it exhausts us. But the fact that we let these thoughts, worries and fear take up so much space in our heads is a problem. By not doing the work and unpacking our baggage, we are losing sleep, overeating, drinking too much, losing weight, gaining weight, isolating ourselves, self medicating and on a path towards self destruction. This sounds dramatic but maybe it’s something you need to hear. Please don’t blame yourself or feel guilty- a lot of times this is our of our control. Since June, I worried so much that I started losing my hair. It has been so awful but at the same time it was a wake up call. I could either continue to hold on to all of that stress, or I could try to let some of it go. I realize that losing a parent is one of the hardest things a person can endure. But I also had a lot of other things going on at the same time. When it rains it pours, right?
Normally at this stage of the blog I would offer suggestions on how to move forward. But I’m not going to do that today. What works for me may not even come close to working for you. I am just here to offer support and to suggest that you give it a go. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to live the life you imagined for yourself, free of the stress and the fear and the worry that is occupying all of that valuable real estate in your head. Recently I heard something that struck a chord with me. If you’re going to spend time thinking about the worst case scenario, you owe it to yourself to spend the same amount of time thinking about the best case scenario too. That might take some practice. I think we are all so used to focusing on the bad that we almost forget about the good. I know I have certainly done that over the past few months. Maybe I’ll add that to my nightstand: a list of the positive things in my life as a small reminder that even though times are tough, I’ve got a lot for which I am extremely grateful.
